By ELIZABETH SPIRIDAKIS
Very is a regular free-association column by Elizabeth Spiridakis, in which she calls it like she sees it.
One day in the distant future, the children of our children’s children will look back upon the ‘aughts’ for retro inspiration and stumble upon the sartorial black hole that is Paris Hilton. Her egregious crimes against fashion are too numerous to list here, but in this photo of Her Tragedy, accompanied by her boyfriend Benji Madden, the offending look is:
Very next-level vanity: Really, a T-shirt with your name on it? Is it so you remember or we never forget? Maybe it should be spelled backwards because we suspect that every time she looks in the mirror there’s a split second when she wonders, “Wait, who’s Sirap?”
Very wannabe It couple: If you took a snapshot of Kate Moss and Pete Doherty from two years ago, photocopied it 27 times, covered it in Velveeta, ran it through a Hot Topic sample sale and then sold it as a cheap knock-off on Canal Street, it would look like this picture.
Very space tramp.
Very vomitrocious. The ‘L.A. Look’ needs to go away forever, please. If they banned fedoras, tacky sunglasses, blazers over T-shirts, leggings and Kitson, Los Angeles would become a nudist colony.
Very last stop in the fashion cycle: All good trends (leggings, metallics, rock star boyfriends) go to Paris to die. Clean out your closets accordingly.
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